April is the Cruelest Month
When I started teaching last year, my co-teacher told me that she believes that April is the most difficult month for teachers and students. Spring break is over, but summer is still too far away. The kids start getting burned out, and so do the teachers. “And you know,” she said ominously, “Most of the school shootings happen in April.”
My school has come down with the normal April-itis. In addition to that, one of our teachers had a baby two months early, and another teacher is due in late May and cutting back on hours. Our principal has been ill, and budget issues mean that there is no money for extra staff or for us to put in extra time. I have been feeling pretty overwhelmed with all I have to do and the fact that I am putting in too many unpaid hours. No one is asking me to do this. I just can’t bring myself to do a crappy job!
And of course (rolls eyes) I just had to go and get myself into this triathlon business! Really, what was I thinking? But I’m starting, after only nine straight days of training, to see some benefits. I do have more energy during the day — but am ready to crash by nine p.m. The moodiness I had after coming off the antidepressants has dissipated. I’ve lost a couple of pounds. So yeah, it’s all worth it. I think. And it’s amazing how the Universe puts exactly what you need right in front of you.
Example: Monday morning my alarm went off at 5:00 and between 5:00 and 5:00, when it rang again, I had a very vivid dream that my book club friends C. and K. came to pick me up and take me running. It was one of those anxiety dreams — you know, you are doing something but you don’t have any shoes, or you’re lost, or you’re naked. Anyway at 5:06 I got up and dragged my sorry butt to the pool, where I proceeded to have the Worst Swim Ever. It was a total slog. Hated every minute of it. I went into the locker room, showered, changed, and coming around a corner I literally ran into my friend C. from the dream! (I almost never see her outside of our book club and didn’t even know she went to that gym!) I said, “Oh my God!!! You scared me!” which completely puzzled her, of course, so I told her about the dream. Weird, we agreed. Then she asked me how the training was going and I told her okay, but the swimming, not so much.
“Well,” she said, “I used to swim, and I have these great DVD’s you can watch. And I’d be happy to come to the pool with you and give you some tips.”
Whoa. Okay, Universe, thanks! I get the message. Maybe April will turn out okay after all…